


Language

by Sossity



Category: due South
Genre: Gen, Humor, Wordcount: 100-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-01
Updated: 2011-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-19 23:36:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sossity/pseuds/Sossity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You almost copied me, didn't you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Language

"Yeah, thanks, Elaine." Ray Vecchio hung up the phone and placed it back in his coat pocket with a flourish. He thumped the Riv's wheel and gave Benny a feral grin. "We've got 'im."

"I take it the license plates checked out?"

"Yeah. He's smart, but he has no eye for detail. Fucking bastard's going to run straight into a roadblock when he tries to leave."

"I'm not so sure, Ray." Fraser winced as they passed a slower car. Ray didn't see the problem; there was a good half a foot of room to spare. "You'll remember that the, ah, the thief had tried to carry off almost a dozen cans of dog food along with the animal in question. You saw how he dropped one fleeing the pet store and stopped to pick it up? He's too attached to the dog to leave without it."

"So he'll head back to his apartment before he skips town."

"Right."

Ray hit the lights and banged a U-turn. Fraser braced himself against the door and Diefenbaker let out a whuff of protest from the back.

"I really wish you wouldn't do that, Ray."

"Do what?"

"I wish you wouldn't flagrantly disregard traffic laws, not to mention any basic common sense about safety."

Ray rolled his eyes. "Gee, I'll take it back." He smirked and looked sideways at Benny. "The, ah, the thief, huh?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You almost copied me, didn't you?"

"In what sense? I can't exactly flagrantly disregard traffic laws from the passenger's seat, if that's what you mean."

Ray's smirk turned into a full grin. "I almost got you to call him a fucking bastard. _You_ almost swore."

"I most assuredly did not."

"Yeah, but you barely caught yourself in time, didn't you?"

"I, well, I--"

"Hey, I understand. These kinds of things are contagious." He had to admit, he was enjoying this. It wasn't often you got the Mountie at a loss for words. "Hell, it only took three months at the precinct before Elaine started going at it like a sailor. You held out for five. Not a bad record."

"This is _not_ some kind of vulgar race!"

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Well, I _would_ , if she was _alive_." Fraser was starting to sound a little petulant. Ray felt a little sorry for bringing up the poor guy's mom. Not too sorry, though. "But that doesn't change the fact that I didn't _say_ anything."

"You will, Benny. It's only a matter of time now. Pretty soon you'll be talking trash just like the rest of us."

"Ray, I am not continuing this conversation."

They were silent for a few minutes. He turned the car sharply left and got a disgusted grunt for his trouble. "You know you want to," Ray intoned.

Fraser sighed. "I know I'm going to regret this. Want to do what?"

"Cuss the guy out."

"No I don't, Ray."

"Sure you do."

"I really don't."

"Go ahead, just one little SOB, or asshole or something."

"No."

"Who's it gonna hurt?"

"Well, I don't know, it might--"

"Me? Am I that much of a shrinking violet?"

"Well, no."

"You think it's gonna hurt you? You afraid for your immortal soul or something? Someone's gonna come around the corner and wash your mouth out with soap?"

"Of course not. But Dief--"

"Dief's deaf, Frasier."

Fraser tipped his head to the side like he was considering that. "Well. It's not nice to say impolite things about someone, even a criminal."

"The little weasel pushed you off a roof. You're still limping."

"He's under a lot of pressure."

"He threw rotten eggs at Dief."

Fraser hesitated. "All right, that's a little tempting."

Ray paused and then pointed straight ahead. "In about a hundred yards we are going to come to a stop sign. Do you want me to stop?"

"Of _course_ I would like you to stop."

"Then say the magic word."

" _Please_ obey the stop sign so we don't get into an accident, Ray."

"Not that magic word. The other one. Begins with an F."

"You're very childish. You know that, right?"

"We're almost there..."

"Are you seriously doing this?"

"Oh, hey, is that a little old lady starting to cross the street?"

" _Stop the fucking car, Ray_!"

Ray slammed on the brakes, squealing to a halt with the Riv's nose just past the stop sign. The woman with one foot off the sidewalk gave them a long, dirty look and began to inch her walker past the car.

"Now was that so hard?" Ray peeked over to see Fraser's face turning a nice bright shade of red.

Sometimes it was the little things in life.


End file.
